does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
