worst night to have a conscience
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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