Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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