Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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