you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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