I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
