Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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