apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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