There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
