if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize