Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
