when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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