I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize