that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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