In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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