question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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