The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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