Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
