i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
