Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
