i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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