Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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