You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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