Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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