why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
