Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
