i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
