you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
