i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
