i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
