Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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