that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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