I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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