if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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