An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
