Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
