Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
