your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
