North Korea, Best Korea!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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