i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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