is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
