Taylor Swift is so right about you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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