Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
