is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize