i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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