My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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