how can u be prego again
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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