I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
