I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
too bad you live with your parents still
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
