his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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