There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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