I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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