omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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