it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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