y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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