good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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