Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wear drunk well.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
