She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize