bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
